First City Monument Bank (FCMB) has taken over from the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) as the clap back king of Nigerian Twittersphere.
The anti-graft agency ran one of the most engaging Twitter handles in Nigeria until July 2017 when it revealed the identity of its mystery handler.
That revelation came with the more shocking news that the man identified as F.Shaw, or Olufemi Adeyemi, had resigned his employment.
Adeyemi educated and entertained EFCC followers with a sense of humour that was second to none. He was caustic and friendly at the same time.
His wits earned him thousands of admirers in spite of the savagery he sometimes brought to EFCC tweets.
Now with Union Bank, the part-time rapper is now like an emasculated stallion on Twitter.
While Union Bank is rather tame on social media, FCMB has continued the tradition left behind by the former EFCC handler.
The following tweets by the bank founded by Chief Subomi Balogun show that much
1 When someone said FCMB has more Twitter followers than customers
Dear Henry, someone said you have more twitter followers than the money in your bank account.
We play too much in this country.
*Inserts your meme* https://t.co/J7v2ZUSKUC
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 25, 2018
2 When someone asked if another meaning of FCMB was “Follow come my birthday”
Stop using style to invite us to your birthday, Septmeniac. The only meaning of FCMB known to us is ‘First City Monument Bank’. Remember to give your neighbor a feedback. https://t.co/aIDlcn0pk2
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 17, 2018
3 When someone who needed an account for fraudulent acts contacted FCMB
Dearest Dysfunktn, FCMB can’t wait to give you a presidential welcome. However, considering the Eagle will be the beginning of wisdom, why not start something legit that’ll boom in no time with us? 😉😉 https://t.co/3oEzdZJbUc
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 17, 2018
4 When someone requested a loan to buy a sex doll
Ogbeni, irrespective of what you’re using the loan for, be aware that FCMB won’t leave you alone. Kindly visit any of our branches near you to apply for a loan. Thank you for preparing for the future (as stated in your bio) with a doll. https://t.co/AMzAOCghT8
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 15, 2018
5 When someone asked the FCMB handler to go learn from Shaw the former EFCC handler
We’re a bank not a football team, Angrybird. Remember Shaw plays for Manchester United. Thank you.
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 16, 2018
6 When someone requested to be given a loan that won’t be paid back
Like fcmb should give me a loan and forget about it
— ADENOLAJNR (@adenolajnr) January 22, 2018
7 When someone claimed he was broke
Am feeling too broke, January is no doubt 70days 😑
— Ethical (@walecoker65) January 22, 2018
8 When someone said the best time to troll FCMB on Twitter is on weekends
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 20, 2018
9 When someone asked when a particular FCMB branch will be opened
No vex abeg, Pikin. We go finish am soon and you go gbadun us like honey. https://t.co/1VAqBKdjhC
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 14, 2018
10 When someone claimed to be in love with another bank
Thought all men agreed to leave cheating alone in 2017, Paul? https://t.co/0pmeaxmbTU
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 14, 2018
11 When someone asked why Soundcity TV didn’t air its SoundcityMVP Awards
FCMB is a bank not a Q&A platform, Boyklef.
Don’t lose focus even when you’re having fun. https://t.co/S2xfsdh2qd
— FCMB (@MyFCMB) January 12, 2018
