Friends with benefits (FWB) is a term used to describe a relationship where two people maintain a friendship while engaging in casual sexual activities without the commitment or expectations of a romantic relationship.
There are general and culturally sensitive approaches to framing such relationships in Nigeria or elsewhere.
The 25 rules below emphasise communication, respect, and emotional clarity:
Communication and consent
1. Set clear expectations: Agree on what the relationship entails from the start.
2. Mutual consent: Both parties must willingly agree to the arrangement.
3. Honest communication: Share feelings openly, even if they change over time.
4. Establish boundaries: Define what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Respect and privacy
5. Respect each other’s choices: No means no, always.
6. Protect privacy: Keep details of the relationship between yourselves.
7. No public display of affection: Unless both are comfortable, keep it private.
8. Avoid gossip: Don’t discuss the arrangement with mutual friends.
Emotional and physical health
9. Stay emotionally detached: Don’t confuse it with a romantic relationship.
10. Discuss safe practices: Prioritise sexual health and use protection.
11. Regular health checks: Be responsible for your sexual health.
12. Avoid jealousy: Acknowledge that either party can date others.
Practicality and cultural sensitivity
13. Be culturally aware: Understand how such arrangements are perceived locally.
14. Avoid family involvement: Keep the arrangement away from family matters.
15. Be discreet: Respect societal norms and avoid unnecessary attention.
End with dignity
16. Have an exit plan: Decide how to end the arrangement gracefully.
17. No drama: Avoid conflict if one party wants to move on.
18. Stay friends: If possible, preserve the original friendship.
Miscellaneous
19. Time commitment: Don’t let the arrangement dominate your schedule.
20. Avoid mixed signals: Don’t act like a romantic partner.
21. No overdependence: Keep the relationship balanced and independent.
22. Respect personal growth: Allow each other to pursue new opportunities.
23. Avoid workplace/school settings: Minimise complications in professional or academic spaces.
24. Be honest about emotions: If feelings develop, address them directly.
25. Know when to stop: If it’s no longer beneficial, end it respectfully.
Final Note
FWB arrangements can be complicated, especially in settings where societal expectations are conservative. It’s crucial to navigate these relationships with maturity, honesty, and respect for cultural norms.
