Effective communication should be part of every healthy marriage.
Use the six tips below to open up the channels of communication between you and your partner and good results will come.
1 Find the right time
If something is bothering you and you would like to have a conversation about it, it can be helpful to find the right time to talk. Try to find a time when both you and your partner are calm and not distracted, stressed or in a rush. You might even consider scheduling a time to talk if one or both of you is really busy!
2 Talk face to face
Avoid talking about serious matters or issues in writing. Text messages, letters and emails can be misinterpreted. Talk in person so there isn’t any unnecessary miscommunication. If you are having trouble collecting your thoughts, consider writing them down ahead of time and reading them out loud to your partner.
3 Do not attack
Even when we mean well, we can sometimes come across as harsh because of our word choice. Using “you” can sound like you are attacking, which will make your partner defensive and less receptive to your message. Instead, try using “I” or “we.” For example, say “I feel like we have not been as close lately” instead of “you have been distant with me.”
4 Be honest
Agree to be honest. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it’s the key to a healthy relationship. Admit that you are not always perfect and apologise when you make a mistake instead of making excuses. You will feel better and it will help strengthen your relationship.
5 Check your body language
Let your partner know you are really listening by giving them your full attention: sit up, face them and make eye contact when speaking. Don’t take a phone call, text or play a video game when you are talking. Show your partner you respect them by listening and responding.
6 Use the 24-hour rule
If your partner does something that makes you angry, you need to tell them about it. But you do not have to do so right away. If you are still hurt 24 hours later, say something. If not, consider forgetting about it. But remember your partner cannot read your mind. If you don’t speak up when you are upset, there is no way for them to apologise or change. Once you do mention your hurt feelings and your partner sincerely apologise, let it go. Don’t bring up past issues if they are not relevant.
