First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
It seems there are more reasons to complain than there are grains of ofada rice in Lagos. The weather, the government or the school fees; something must be bad for people. Some have incorporated their complaints into their salutations.
“How are you doing?”
“We are barely surviving in this town” or “It is well” said with an unwell facial expression.
A hasty retreat is in order here. Fools will ask about the problem and get stuck there for hours.
In the right context, complaining is a very good thing to do. If your newly purchased car does not work, you ring the dealership and they sort you out with a replacement. As soon as the replacement car arrives, is there a need to write seven people to narrate what happened?
When people sit around a table and someone says he has lost his job and is struggling, the atmosphere changes. Those who have just been promoted keep it in, so as not to make the unemployed guy feel bad. One by one people try to prove to him that the world is hard for everyone else including those in employment. Stories of woes soon ascend to the level of a competitive sport.
One says he has toothache and narrates the ordeal. As soon as he finishes someone else takes up the baton.
“You think toothache is something. I had a hernia operation and buried three relatives in the last six months.”
I have seen people with big problems that did not start every conversation with their problem and I have seen people with small problems almost change their names by deed poll to the name of the problem. See me see wahala as we say in Naija. These are the ones who have complained so much about that one thing that their reputation is built around that complaint.
The country
As a Nigerian I cannot help but notice my country men and women who complain about the country daily. Every unfortunate incident is logged on social media for the world to see. Once in a while, a relative gets married and they have something nice to say briefly before reverting to ‘character’.
Some incidents are universal to the Planet Earth like car accidents and muggings but these ones think they happen only in Nigeria.
It is amazing that people actually wake up and think “what bad thing about Nigeria can I publish today?” I have unfollowed some of them on Facebook for our elders say it is the fly with bad advisers that follows the corpse into the grave. These negative people who develop in darkness ala old school Kodak into a brilliant photograph of depressing reality are headed for the miry clay of melancholy and they will not take me with them on their journey.
But what if change comes? What if peradventure they heed the words of that great man JF Kennedy? (20-1-1961 Inauguration Speech)
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.
What if these complainers write on Facebook thus; I have done too little in my life to help my country. Today I complain about myself. I have not been faithful, loyal and honest and I have not served Nigeria with all my strength. I have not defended her dignity on social media neither have I upheld her honour and glory due to my cynical opinionated utterances. I will turn a new leaf from today and henceforth speak well of Nigeria. God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Well, if I read the above rare complaint from some people I will surely faint. Nigeria might faint also for she has been singing Janet Jackson’s music in reply to her citizens’ singing of the National Anthem to her for many years now.
“I don hear una but what have you done for me lately?” our great country laments daily.
The couple
Marriage for some is solely to give you something to complain about, while the wedding anniversary is an opportunity to receive gifts and call a crown-less head your King. I have heard it all. He is too slow, not romantic, not reflective, takes me for granted, etc. I could write a book on the complaints people in relationships have made. I could even write a bigger book on the complaints I have made in the past about relationships I have been in. People in turn love to hear a couple throw dirt at each other. That way they can vent their envy all disguised as philosophical musings.
“Well, wealth does not make a good marriage” or “they honeymooned in Barbados and Hawaii but look at them now”.
Imagine if the husband who thinks he is a martyr dying on the altar of marital domesticity calls you up and says, “I have not done enough as a husband. I am a disgrace. I need to do more, to work harder at being the kind of man I am supposed to be”.
If some people take responsibility for their actions, we shall all faint but once revived we shall rejoice. What about the ladies? Take responsibility and complain about their faults? The Earth might faint and drift off to revolve around Jupiter.
