First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Like-cology (a totally made up term) is the study of what humans like. Those situations and tangibles that people are fond of can almost be as good an identifier of individuals as their fingerprints. Apart from those burdened with that ugly psychological dead weight, Anhedonia which deprives one of feeling pleasure, everybody likes something. This is why the Police and prospective employers and lovers go through your Facebook page for a forensic examination of the things your ‘like’ and ‘share’
The question that faces us is when to actually express our feelings, in other words like Shakespeare might have put it had he been drunk when he wrote Hamlet; to like or not to like, that is the question.
The student of Like-cology is in heaven on Facebook where three main subsets of users exits:
Those who never like anything
Those who like everything
Those who like but do not hit the like button.
Those who never like anything
Those with psychological illness who are incapable of deriving pleasure from looking at other people’s private pictures wonder what the fuss is all about. They scroll down timelines impassively and you wonder what they are doing on Facebook for it is an addictive medium and needs to carry a health warning. Those with unresolved issues need counselling, not feasting their eyes on the embellished pictorial curriculum vitae of others.
Some who never like anything are spies. These could be Police, detectives or political monitors who are on social media to keep tabs on what some particular people are up to. One of the advantages of Facebook for these ‘secret service agents’ is that surveillance is completely free and Timelines can often lead the investigations in other directions as co-conspirators tend to flock together.
The gossips, ex-partners, nosey work colleagues and creditors can sometimes fall into this group. Since Facebook does not alert users about who has viewed their timeline, an ex-partner can check up on what the latest news is in complete anonymity. Creditors owed money by friends can also check out their debtors for new clothes or new cars. Leverage can be obtained for the argument that is sure to follow when full payment of the debt is demanded. A friend once bitterly complained thus, “He wouldn’t pay me my money yet he fronts on Facebook every day in new clothes”.
For some who lie about their health and take time off work, it might not be expedient to be seen generating any footprints on social media. The same applies to those who are meant to be working and do not want their Facebook excursions noticed.
Those who like everything
Some people love life and everything in it. They hit the ‘like’ button all the time and this has become a way to share in the moment being displayed. They like pets, pictures of food, nature, links; just about anything.
Then there are those who don’t want to be left out of whatever appears to be trending. This means that anything that has over fifty ‘likes’ attracts their index finger to hit the button. Some want to curry favour with people and ‘like’ everything these people put up. That accounts for someone liking an hour documentary 10 seconds after it was put up.
Then there is the sympathy ‘like’. Someone tries hard, does the hair, dresses well and strikes a pose. The picture was posted seven hours ago without a single ‘like’. This is when the kind hearted donates a ‘like’ on humanitarian grounds. Soon that solitary ‘like’ starts to magnetise more ‘likes’ in.
Those who like but do not hit the like button
These are the ones who tell you when they see you four months later that they liked what you wrote on Facebook, long after you have forgotten it.
When pressed as to why they did not hit the like button at the time, they tell you that they don’t “do Facebook”.
These are the ultra-private ones who do not want anyone to be able to profile them. You know the type. Profile picture is usually something inanimate. To each his own but what I always say is that no matter how private you are, one day you will die and they will lay you in state and the whole town will walk pass your casket staring into the “private face” you have been hiding all your life. I believe privacy is over rated.
So long as your bank balance, HIV status, the state of your piles and blood and CT scan reports are off Facebook, we can cope with a few details about you, especially the face.
Beyond the privacy issue, some are unhappy that Mark Zuckerberg has refused to provide an ‘I am envious’ button for them to hit. The second best button would be a ‘dislike’ button and it does not exist. Till then, they remain below the radar.
There is a group that are just plain stingy. They own the rights to ‘like’ but ask why they should give their ‘like’ to you. They might be building your brand if they keep on liking and this does not sit well with them. They forget that it is free to ‘like’ things and it stimulates the brain positively every time a liking process occurs. This is a free way to accrue good will as we generally reap what we sow. Going twelve months without liking anything on Social Media and then suddenly popping up on your birthday to announce to the world that it is your day to ‘make shakara’ is risky. You might get a few sympathy votes and some silly adverts about Nigerian Customs auctioning impounded cars on the Timeline.
Then there are the ones who look at the scantily clad ladies on Facebook. A wrong comment or like would alert ‘madam’ to their ‘dark side’’ so they look and ‘waka-pass’. Likewise liking too many beautiful girls’ pictures can lead to domestic thunder storms. Ehen.
To like or not to like, that is the question. Second bass jare.
