First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Beauty, like problems, exists in the eye of the beholder. Two patients walk in to the same doctor’s consulting room on the same day and stand on the same weighing scales. One says “I cannot stand being so thin. I need help to put on some pounds”. The next one says “doctor I have tried my best but this weight is not shifting and I am developing man boobs. I need help’.
The rain falls and the farmer smiles while the civil servant frowns. It is easy to see why there is always ‘a problem’ on everyone’s plate. The key thing to address is what needs to be done once a situation, person or an object has been deemed to be a problem.
Those familiar with the musical The Sound of Music will know the song ‘How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?’
This song says it all. The problem has been identified to be Maria and the nuns who had gathered for the brainstorming session have made their intentions plain. They desire a solution to the Maria problem. The scale of the problem was outlined via the metaphor
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
They were realistic about the enormity of the problem but still hoped for a solution.
That is a good way to address problems.
Some like to complain about problems. They look into the history of the problem, express how painful it is to suffer the problem and re-experience the pain every time they think about the problem. This can go on for years without a hint of any solution being mentioned. What then happens is friends start to avoid them as no one wants to hang around indefinitely on a seafaring vessel anchored firmly in a vast ocean of despair. The ship must move and the scenery must change.
We all have gone on too long about problems and we all know people who have just one topic on their small talk agenda. Just as all roads lead to Rome, all topics leads to their ‘problem’. Sports, the economy, music, holidays; any topic you mention always ends up in that final common pathway.
Meditating on problems
Rehearsing unfavourable situations like a hamster on a wheel leads to frustration. There is no benefit to be gained going through our memory banks to view the ‘who hurt us the most’ charts. By the time you start at Number 30 and work your way up to single figures, the tears start welling up and the world looks like a place not worth living in.
Of all the areas of problem meditation, the one that is such a complete waste of time is the ‘why’ or ‘how could they?’ question.
I have never seen anything good come from that question.
“Why did he leave me after all I did to support him?” some might ask themselves a hundred times of an ex who is on the beach somewhere with his new squeeze. The truth is the only one who knows the answer is otherwise engaged and has no plans on giving an answer. His ship has left the harbour and he is not looking back.
Sometimes like-minded meditators seek each other out and ask each other why this or that happened. They usually give themselves an answer such as “nobody can be trusted” but that answer offers no real solace. Soon the group reassembles to lament their mutual problem.
Lazy people with a re-occurring issue that they are disinclined to address conjure up a narrative to justify their state. They also seek out groups that provide affirmation and reinforcement of their limiting beliefs.
Problem solving
Problems can irritate and cause anger. After the emotional gymnastics have been acted out, the real work starts.
Lessons learnt are noted and personal responsibility is taken. Some things are absolutely outside anybody’s control and there is no telling when the next ‘freak incident’ might occur.
Actions plans for things within our control are formulated and stuck to while things outside our control have to be accepted as such.
A brainstorming session with positive minded people or those who have had personal or professional experience of the sort of issues in your tissues that afflict you will be most helpful. Those who have solved a problem that you presently have can give tips that can help you solve your own issues.
This might call for growth and a lot of hard work. (Trying to stop spending impulsively comes to mind).
The actual act of trying to do something positive about a problem actually produces a sense of optimism and hope for the future long before a solution has been found.
Looking for a solution for your particular Maria situation might lead to a fairy tale ending just like it happened in The Sound of Music. A chance meeting with the life coach of your dreams could open up a whole new world of possibilities for you.
