First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Without saying a word, my four-month-old son has been instructing me on the key areas of my life and it is all free and beneficial.
My first session with him went something like this:
“Who am I?”
“My father,” he replied.
“Why am I here?”
“To father me and bring me up.”
“What tools do I have?”
“Hands to work. Papa abeg commot haus go find moni.”
“What am I truly capable of?”
“Feeding me! Abeg go work.”
“What is my destiny?”
“Bros Daddy, as you make your bed, so shall you lie on it.”
He doesn’t talk yet but I can read his eyes.
What is a life coach some might ask? Well, a life coach is the one who gets in there and teaches you about life before the real ‘life’ comes along and shows you pepper (put pepper in your eyes). A life coach takes you from where you are to where you would want to be. Listing a sweet destination as a personal goal is easy. Who no like better thing? It is finding out where we are now that is the problem as people delude themselves. Everyone thinks they are close to their goals when they are not even on the same planet as their goals. A life coach is not your therapist so, if you are sure that the BBC is broadcasting your thoughts to the nation, don’t dial for a life coach.
If you need motivation and help to know what powers are within your grasp, coaching can help.
My son has coached me the major areas of my life and I am beginning to see fruits. I will elucidate.
Sleep?
He has shown me that time is just a number. 2am, Ehen? Kini big deal? He is ready to eat at all times. I have learnt that I must hustle the way he feeds which is at all hours. Shebi Macbeth hath murdered sleep. Well, my son wrote the murder and did the cremation. He demonstrates to me that I sleep too much and forget to hustle when I wake up in the middle of the night. Going back to sleep is not always the best option.
Positive mental attitude
My son smiles first thing in the morning. He opens his eyes first then he parts his lips to reveal his gums. Like one under a hypnotic spell I smile back instead of lamenting that my sweet dreams have been disturbed by reality. I tell him that Angola is the capital of France and he laughs. He does not contradict me or correct me, he just laughs. He is definitely the most jovial one in the family. I tried him with “you will have no food today” and he laughed, waving his arms. This lad cannot be threatened. I have learnt that when you smile even the grumpy ones will smile back. I have also learnt that when life or people threaten you, don’t let them see your fears.
Money and favour
The young man has money. He is a money magnet and he has not got a job. Chief lesson here, Money can be made without working. It is called favour (not stealing).
Spirituality
It is hard to spend time in the labour ward without some spirituality seeping in. Each morning I wake up, before I rub on my Vaseline, I say a little prayer for him (forming Aretha Franklin).
Crying versus words
You don’t have to say words to communicate. A good cry is equipped with molecules of poison that go straight to the brain. The message is received loud and clear. Sometimes for enhanced effects, he produces smells that communicate.
Shame, embarrassment and fear of danger
None existent. He poos on himself and laughs about it. No shame. When he is carried he never worries if he is being held firmly. He has trust.
Fitness
No closing hours here. He does his straight leg raising exercises lying on his back while laughing. Not quite sure how someone could suspend his legs in the air permanently but I guess he is always in training for the day he will walk. He practices permanently and so must I.
Contentment
Sitting at the dinner table with the rest of the family as we chew away with teeth, the baby just looks on. He never begrudges us our food for he is content with his own milk. He knows his time for chicken will come one day. We have plates and cutleries and he has his bottle. He does not get drawn into competition with us.
Relaxation
His whole life is a relaxation technique and his techniques are contagious. He enjoys his feeding times, enjoys his baths and enjoys it when I chant his nickname. He does not know how to frown or get depressed. Every hour is play hour.
Entertainment and leisure
He is proof that you do not need to spend money or watch TV to be entertained. I sing to a very poor standard for him and he gets as much pleasure from it as he would have got if Luciano Pavarotti had been alive to serenade him. The baby knows no movie stars or singers but he gets entertained with whatever is thrown at him. He has not postponed the day of his happiness to sometime in the future when certain financial goals have been met. Today is all he has and he enjoys the moment letting tomorrow take care of itself.
Family
He is a family man, totally devoted to his mummy. His devotion is an inspiration to all my family members.
Knows his place
He never goes into the kitchen or the toilet. He never opens any mail or the fridge. He sees us do all these things but concentrates on babbling and waving his limbs about. He does his job to the best of his abilities and is not distracted from his primary assignment by Facebook or telephone calls. He has focus and sucks his fingers like there is a Nobel Sucking Prize with his name on it. Everyone must know his place on Earth and there is a place for everyone.
In summary, the little lad shows me where I am when I compare my attitudes to his. He also shows me that it is possible to exist in peace when we embrace our many limitations with contentment. He keeps on striving for improvement at all times yet is never intimidated by those who are many steps ahead of him in any endeavour. I keeping on watching and learning daily, I never fail to imitate what I can.
Long may my lessons continue!
