First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
All rivers flow from higher ground downwards through paths offering the least resistance. They erode soft soil as they meander along. Observers are never shocked at a river’s course for water obeys the natural laws. A river that flows from lowlands uphill would be a surprise. People would suspect that the natural course of events has been tampered with by way of clever science or the invocation of supernatural powers. Raindrops lifting off the ground and floating skywards to join the clouds would be equally shocking. There is an expectation that gravity never has a day off.
Boring order and predictability is what gives people the confidence to book cruises three years in advance. The ocean will still be there when the time comes.
Societies can be held back from progressing by famine, scarce natural resources, epidemics and wars. To that list one must add the giving of bribes.
People of a sound mind living in a society have some expectations. The reward of hard work is one of them. Great rewards being heaped on the indolent is counter-intuitive. This messes up the mind of the observers and they begin to wonder what the point of working hard is. In times of peace, when order in society should reign, people with bribes declare war on order.
Those who have watched enough war films no doubt would have witnessed scenes in which a soldier pulls the pin off his grenade and counts to himself before looping it in the direction of the enemy. The explosion makes for an easier advancement.
Bribes are no different; they clear a path for quick advancement. I once was about to leave home with a friend when he remembered something and ran back.
“What did you forget?”
“Money for bribe.”
As we drove along the roads of Lagos, each time we got to a checkpoint he handed out folded notes of cash and moved on without uttering a word.
This was a war situation and the ‘enemy’ had been silenced with a grenade.
His justification was that he was saving us all time.
Those in the car were also learning how to ‘save time’ and more importantly were seeing that uniformed officers were corrupt. Like they say, one bad agbalumo spoils the whole bunch.
If one arm of government can be bought, the whole government can be bought.
People who leave home with bribes have no faith in the integrity of people in various positions in their society. They have no faith in the natural course of events and exonerate themselves from guilt claiming it is the society that demands bribes of them.
On the other side of the bribery fence, the ones who demand bribes say their salaries (which don’t get paid regularly) cannot cover their basic needs for one week talk less of the month. They blame the ‘super big men’ for not making life affordable for the common man. Everyone on the street is justified in the giving and taking of bribes (aka Kola, Egunje, Dash, Roger, Sontin).
It is ironic to drive in Lagos and watch someone give out bribes at road junctions five times while the discussion throughout the journey is about corrupt politicians.
If every adult gives one or two bribes a week, that amounts to billions of naira a month changing hands; making bribery the biggest sector of the Nigerian economy.
The politicians are a product of their society and they too give and take bribes. While their bribe money is huge it might surprise people to learn that some middle-class people give more bribes in one day than rich politicians.
Of the millions of bribe transactions, the vast percentage occurs in non-political circles. People daily throwing grenades at societal order thereby corrupting it.
If you try and try and don’t succeed you better bribe somebody else.
It has got to the stage that people on salaries want to be paid for doing their duties. And if doing their duty will be profitable to say a businessman bidding for a contract from civil servants, then the civil servant must have his cut.
Now bribes are not tips. We give tips of our free will after the service has been rendered
With bribes, you pay to gain favour and influence the natural flow of events to your advantage.
Frequent bribe givers in Nigeria don’t trust any institution. They feel the graduates paid for his degree, the hospital test reports are fake, the law enforcement officers and courts are fake, all documents are fake irrespective of which letter heading is used or who signed the document.
Without trust in the integrity of institutions, it is no surprise that many go abroad to register their companies or private jets, get medical or dental treatment and medical check-ups.
People do not trust that staff will maintain confidentiality in hospitals and banks. Friends ring staff to ask for the confidential information held by banks, hospitals and courts on clients and they get it!
Everything should not have a price tag in a country. People say there is nothing wrong with bribes till you ask them if they would love an operation from a surgeon who bought his diploma or fly in a plane that obtained its documentation of airworthiness with the aid of a bribe.
These grenades or rockets in the pockets might save time in the short term and temporarily enrich the receiver but in the long run, it is a yeye wind that blows everyone the wrong way.
A student who bribes the lecturer for a pass mark will continue to shop around for shortcuts in life. Pay for votes, pay for medical certificates, pay for others to do their children’s examination and pay to avoid tax. To afford the high ‘bribe money budget’, the bribe grenade thrower would need to augment their income by demanding bribes too. The circle just goes on and on.
