First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Some achievements cannot be hidden. Where do you hide after winning the Nobel Prize? The same applies for natural endowments such as facial beauty. Does a beauty queen walk around in a mask so as not to make others feel less insecure? Achievements draw favourable attention especially in the newspapers and social media. Winning an Oscar is a sure way to gain that kind of instant attention. Unfortunately, these big awards are for a microscopic minority despite many people craving attention. The bridge between the attention seekers and attention is usually constructed on the back of good old fashioned boasting. Through boasting people find that they can achieve attention without concrete achievements. For those not given to talking, big watches or cars become formidable spokesmen.
There is a parable about empty vessels producing the loudest noise. The Forbes rich list is full of people who record no rap songs boasting of their wealth. It is strange how the major shareholders in luxury brands stay silent while rappers who buy just one unit of a product rap about it-swinging from the Eiffel Tower. Billionaires tend to stay silent. I suppose they are just too rich to boast about it. On the other hand, credit card owners looking good with the trappings of debt talk non-stop about the life they are living.
The bottom line is that if you are at peace in your own skin, the boasting stops. The shark would not brag about swimming styles. If it is hungry its prey soon knows about the shark swag. There is really no need for the cheetah to boast about speed or the lion to boast about strength. These attributes are obvious. These animals wake up and do what comes naturally with aplomb leaving the zoologists to do the talking. That means that if I see you coming and you need to tell me you are special, despite my eyes being in perfect working order, there must be something wrong.
Boast Perception Disorder
An eavesdropper could diagnose boasting in error.
“I prefer Emirates first class service to Arik,” says a frequent traveller and someone thinks to himself, “Hmm. Show off”.
Another says, “I prefer MacDonald’s French fries to Burger King’s” and the eavesdroppers diagnose preference.
Everybody has choice, preferences, likes and dislikes. However, expressing them might incur the wrath of the accusers of the brethren. Is the solution to never express likes and dislikes? No, but sensitivity is needful. Next time you want to exalt the quality of Jimmy Choo’s autumn collection, look around at the faces of your audience to see if they have eaten that week to avoid being cursed. A once in a life time experience causes a lot of excitement to rage through an individual. Soon he is looking for someone to tell the story to. We all know that excited people repeat themselves. He goes on and on till the audience begins to either get swept away with the contagious euphoria or grumble about the noise (we no go hear word again o! Na him first buy Bentley for Lagos?).
Real boasting
Definition – speak too much in praise of oneself, one’s possessions etc. Collin Dictionary. 1995. (To speaking I would add publishing pictures on social media)
The boasters fall into two categories-
- The entertaining boasters: Some people go out to a nice restaurant and come back with tales so long you wish you were there. They keep you glued to your seats with exaggerated accounts of exquisite cuisine that cost a King’s ransom. While he name-drops the stars that happened to be eating at the same time, he never forgets to add the cost of the meal and the size of the tip
- The tedious boasters: These are people who add no value to your quest for amusement. They tell your plainly that their watch cost £50,000. The need to drop that into the conversation is so desperate that if the right opportunity to slot in their boast does not materialise, they would create it. You might have been talking about a certain premiership striker and they suddenly say, “He wore a watch like mine in one of his interviews”. In your mind, you think, “Ehen, so what?” These are the sad cases. Trying to compensate for the past shame bestowed on them by penury with their shining new rags and ornaments
- The tragic boasters: These individuals are truly gifted and hardworking but just don’t get the acclaim they think they deserve because people don’t take them to heart. It might be that their time for acclaim has not yet come or perhaps they are not blessed with charisma. These people are baffled with how other less gifted people seem able to grab the limelight with minimum effort. They thus make it their life’s mission to convince people that they are the ones truly deserving of fame and attention. The road to boasting starts here. Unfortunately, life does not work like that. Charisma is not a debate. You either have it or you don’t. Elvis had it and he did not need to boast about it.
Concealing achievements
It is dangerous to hang around people who never like to speak about your achievements and good qualities. People who never tell you anything good about yourself usually claim they are protecting your head from getting too big (who made them Phrenologist over you?). You soon learn to be ‘humble’ and to permanently stay put ‘in your place’. A place conceived by others. After a few years of such an existence, one fears to appear conceited and becomes unable to speak about one’s good qualities.
Actively minimising or concealing achievements is not humility. On the other hand, it might be cowardice – the fear of people and their petty envies. Why attend the ball in your Toyota leaving the Aston Martin parked in the garage?
