First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Some get a high spending money. They love the sweet smell of new purchases. The carrier bags, the wrapping paper, the anticipated admiration to be had when the luxury item is first given that “official launch” (Women just love to tell each other how nice they look). Some however hate to spend money. Dreaming about swanning through the mall buying goods will make them jump right out of sleep in a cold sweat. Fear is torment. That unpleasant emotion experienced by those who cannot spend drives them to wear one pair of jeans for 20 years over boxer shorts that were once white.
In the diaspora, some people have a sense of responsibility towards their relatives “back home”. This is admirable. The African culture of looking after immediate and extended family is noble. However, some people take things to the extreme. I once meet a guy who was remitting 65% of his weekly wage back home. What was left was not enough for his poor wife and three kids. His wife had to supplement the “chop money” with her own savings. With time the marriage ran into problems.
There are numerous stories of immigrants moving into a country and working hard for many years without taking days off. They never eat in any of the restaurants in town and do not know what the local theatres or film houses have to offer. As for the opera, what opera? Suggest that to them and they would ask you if you know what the current exchange rate is on Aboki.com
Now this could make sense if this person was living in penury. But if one remits £400 a month back home he is entitled to spend £12 on a movie and popcorn. The superstitious folk would say, “dem don tie im brain for village” (he had had a spell cast on him back home).
There have been herbalists and strange prophets who have advertised their abilities to help make your stingy relative abroad remit cash in great abundance. All they need is the picture of the said individual and the juju or “prayer” will do the rest. As silly as this may seem, it does sound disturbing that while you sleep under your warm winter blanket, people are calling your name with your Facebook display picture next to the calabash containing four chicken heads.
But not everyone who fears spending money on themselves while easily lavishing cash on extended family members has been hypnotised or “jazzed”. Some people just don’t know how to lavish anything on themselves or their kids. These are the ones who will not spend £10 at MacDonald’s for the kids. When pressed they ask that rhetorical Naija parent question, ‘do we not have food at home?’
Next minute they are paying school fees for four relatives in Nigeria while their own kids go to school in torn clothes.
The diaspora remittance to Nigeria was quoted at $35 Billion for 2016. We might as well double this figure as it does not include the money remitted by informal means. These remittances are a lifeline to many. It includes money for school fees, rent, medical bills and believe it or not, kidnap ransom cash! I have had two patients from Nigeria who have been called by relatives to inform them how much their contribution to the ‘kidnap cash collection’ was. (A story for another day).
Guilt is a key factor in asking someone abroad for cash. Painting a good picture of contrast is part of the game. If you post a fetching picture on social media people start to inbox you with, “Bros you juss dey flex o!”
You reply with, “How far?”
And you get the hard-up message- “Buhari don short change us o. Anything for your boys?”
This sort of harassment makes many wary of using social media. Standing in front of any car might be taken as implied ownership and some are afraid to be seen to be affluent.
The guilt trip is to make those in the diaspora flattered enough to think that they live in heaven. Africa is bad and needs assistance but an overcrowded council flat with damp and vermin is pure heaven abi?
There are many living in Nigeria, enjoying good weather and delicious organic food and seeing relatives regularly who have a very good quality of life. It would be a mistake to assume that living in the diaspora lands of Europe and America means you must wallow in guilt and never venture to Disneyland because you cannot take your whole village back home with you.
The thing is that when you grow old in the diaspora, it is your kids that will visit you in winter and not those extended family members that you felt obliged to finance.
There are others who are scared to spend money. Those who have experienced financial crisis in the past or those who grew up in penury can develop an ultra-saving personality where money is concerned.
Hardworking folks who have saved all their life for retirement might suddenly find themselves with a huge pot of cash that they are afraid to touch, in case it goes away. Well the open secret is this; everyone will say goodbye to his money in the end. You either spend it or die and leave it behind.
Fear not!
