First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of an ambition to acquire a good fortune must be in want of excellent feedback (apologies to Jane Austen).
Feedback, like exercise, is generally accepted as good but equally hated by most. We hate those who give us feedback and shun them afterwards. This is the reason poor singers appear on televised talent shows singing their hearts out.
How can one progress in life without the instructional input of keen observers? However in today’s world the one who raises any unwanted point is deemed a ‘hater’ or one who is ‘jealous of his neighbour’s betterment’.
Wary of being labelled negatively, no one gives advice or caution and the alchemist deluded that she is a chef goes on to open a restaurant that even the starving refuse to patronise for free.
Problems with giving feedback
Some approach you asking for feedback but what they really mean is that you should tell them how good their work is and how it will blossom. A wise man avoids giving feedback to such people.
Some do not have a growth mindset. They might not be at the level they should be but are unwilling to accept that more work needs to be done. They might not even believe they have the capacity to learn more and get better. Their fixed mindset means they need to hear how fantastic their business idea is and nothing else.
It is really hard to be objectively critical of oneself. We are all deluded to varying degrees. Our loved ones, friends and families who know us well and sympathise with the long hours we have put into a venture ‘encourage’ us by saying we are doing good work. While that might be true, there might need to be a few more years of work to really polish up our act, but we do not know this.
We all want to be loved and that raises problems. Friends don’t want to be the ‘evil one’ who pointed out the bitter truth to us. The one with the venture also wants everyone to love their ‘baby’. It then becomes difficult to say things that are not positive.
Most people are distracted and find it hard to devote more than a few minutes to whatever you ask them to look at. I once bought a book that had over 10 thank you messages to various people who read the manuscript. That book should not have made it to print. There were so many errors that I really wondered if the people who told the author they had read the manuscript actually did so.
I wrote down all the errors and sent them to the author who did not bother to reply. Perhaps I was classed as a ‘hater’.
Inexperienced people who dismiss a venture as unworkable might be right. But that is not good feedback. The genius is in finding out what is missing and making adjustments. Many ideas have needed years of experimentation to finally get things right. People who have never laboured for years improving an idea would not be able to give constructive feedback to someone just starting out on their journey.
Unsolicited feedback
Some people just love to make comments on things they know nothing about. These people bother you with advice that they themselves need to take. They are the ‘if I were you’ brigade. They can make anyone develop an allergy to receiving any feedback or criticism due to their attitude of behaving like an advice missile.
But not all the people with unsolicited advice are unqualified to dish it out. Some people really know what they are talking about. However is it really wise to correct every single error you see others making (right down to grammatical errors on social media)?
Sometimes we have to let things go.
Don’t cast your pearls before swine for they will trample them underfoot and when they have finished trampling, they turn on you to destroy you (Paraphrased form the Bible). There are some lessons in life that took years to acquire and are very valuable. One really needs to be selective on who one showers with that wealth of experience accrued over time. That is why consultants charge after you have booked an appointment to see them. Free advice is never valued
Solicited feedback
Those who are serious about their lives seek experts in a field to guide them. All great sportsmen and women seek out great coaches. I always find it somewhat amusing when I see sprinters and their unfit coach. The one with the stop watch and pot belly screaming out directions to the fit and strong athlete is a sight to behold.
Real life gives feedback
No matter how much you deceive yourself or surround yourself with yes men, if the final product is poor, no one will buy it. The market gives the final feedback. The public vote with their feet and the money flows to where the good and polished ideas are. Excellence will produce fruits that are undeniable. No matter how much we delude ourselves as to the marvellous work we are doing, our beliefs alone cannot produce the fruits of success.
If the song no sweet, people no go buy.
