Buzz by Olumide Iyanda
Email: oiyanda@yahoo.com Twitter: @mightyng
Special Adviser (Media and Publicity) to former President Goodluck Jonathan, Dr. Reuben Abati, was at his acidic best in his now viral article titled ‘The Phones No Longer Ring’. I do not know if the traffic of callers has increased since the piece “broke the internet” on Saturday, July 25. What I do know is that the media has not stopped buzzing with reactions to the gospel according to one of Nigeria’s finest writers.
In 1,656 words, the man some of us refer to as “Monumental” chronicled his frustrations at the brutal intrusion into his private and official lives by friends, foes, relatives, kinsmen and just about anybody who thought they could do his job at the Villa better. He was threatened – openly and subtly – by those who claimed they wanted official clarification on issues of the moment and those who were unapologetic in demanding a share of the national cake.
The jury is still out on whether Abati’s piece is the jeremiad of a man who suddenly found himself out of the corridors of power or a song of praise by someone thankful to have his life back. For gone are the days of endless ding-dong with pestle-wielding PHD (pull him down) influence peddlers. In Abati’s words “Today, the phones remain loudly silent, with the exception of calls from those friends who are not gloating, who have been offering words of commendation and support. They include childhood friends, former colleagues, elderly associates, fans, and family members.”
Whatever anybody’s opinion of the former Editorial Board Chairman of The Guardian may be, there is no denying the truth in his statement: “As it were, a cynical public relates to you not as a person, but as the office you occupy; the moment you leave office, the people move on; erasing every memory, they throw you into yesterday’s dustbin. Opportunism is the driver of the public’s relationship with public officials.” That is the time-tested truth that is almost always lost on people until they become yesterday’s men. And nowhere better has that been demonstrated over and over again than in the media.
I edited a Saturday newspaper for six years knowing that each day could be my last in that particular office. Nobody needed to tell me that the reason my phone battery ran out quickly – especially on Thursday and Friday – was because I was “editor”. My relationship with most of the callers revolved around the position I occupied. That acceptance helped me see through many “friends” and “associates”. Two things prepared me for that.
First was an experience I had as an entertainment correspondent with another Saturday newspaper. I had just proceeded on annual leave to plan my wedding. A few days into the vacation, a media manager from a PR agency called me, and before I could finish my “hello” he launched into a song about how invaluable I have been and how his organisation could not do without me. As soon as I detected a pause at his end, I calmly told him that I was on leave and preparing for a wedding. The words had barely come out of my mouth when he replied “abeg give me the number of the person wey dey cover the entertainment beat now”. I made a point of telling him that he didn’t even say anything about my leave or wedding. His reply was “my brother, you know how this thing be na.”
The second was the story of a former editor in one of the newspapers around the Isolo/Apapa axis of Lagos. It was end of the year and a company had brought some fancy gift in a fancy wrap. The editor whose name was on the gift had been promoted out of power shortly before the goodies arrived. When the people who came to do delivery were told that the name on the gift did not tally with the current name on the seat, they simply tore the wrap, brought out another one and wrote the name of the new man in power on the gift. The man who it was originally intended for never got over the shock for as long as I knew.
That is the reality in every calling but I choose to focus on the media in this phone ringing exercise because that was Abati’s primary constituency as Jonathan’s aide. Why we expect things to be different beats me. Maybe it is the disease of forgetfulness. The inability to accept life on life’s term. By every form of self-deception and denial, some try to prove they are exceptions to the rule. Many get carried away by the phones that are still ringing they think the sound will last forever. They hound others because – like the man in the corridors of power – they know they can make or mar, build or destroy, dispense and withdraw favours. Few spare a thought for the day the phones will be so silent they may have to check to see if are damaged.
The power to influence is often abused. While the phone rings, some journalists bark at the hapless media manager or any other person who comes crying “please save my job”. The same treatment is meted out to politicians, businessmen and celebrities. Not that these people always smell of roses. You may even argue that some of them deserve the treatment they get. But nothing screams insecurity louder than playing God with the pen. I was at Funke Akindele’s wedding in 2012 and heard a soft sell writer demand that Tiwa Savage – who was a few seats away – should come and apologise to her on behalf of someone else. On top wetin?
The phone will continue ringing as long as you cover a “juicy beat” or are in a position to influence what goes into any publication people reckon with. But any journalist who has passed through the newsroom will have tales of people who became social orphans as soon as they were no longer in a position to write, kill o push a story of interest. Editors come and go but media organisations (at least some of them) remain.
Many of the bad media aides to politicians are journalists who go into their new job thinking the world owes them something. Of course, the phone won’t go silent as long as there are people calling to seek clarification on official matters or to ask for money to pay their children school fees. The arrogance demonstrated in the newsroom grows in multiple folds as the number of calls increases. That is when the sound of unanswered calls becomes music to the ears.
But the day will come when the phones will stop ringing. The real oga at the top will decide he has had enough of a particular editor or the media organisation may go under. It is the same poison in a different bottle for those who make the switch from journalists to media aides. The principal’s term will expire someday. Those who see themselves as all-powerful often find moving on excruciating.
There is great wisdom in the following words: “It is truly, a different moment, and indeed, ‘no condition is permanent.’” They were written in July 2015 by the same hand which in February 2013 wrote an article titled ‘The Hypocrisy of Yesterday’s Men’.
C’est la vie Dr. Abati. Welcome to planet Earth.
