First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000
Whitney Houston’s song -How will I know- is a favourite of mine. Those lyrics run true of many a human interaction. People like actors adopt roles and dress in costumes that they feel with suit the stage they find themselves on. In the library everyone is a quiet person. At the beer parlour everyone is sociable. In the church everyone is pious and relatively well dressed while in the strip joint the actors express a different side to their versatility.
In general people who want something adopt a role. The politician, a suitor or the salesman hoping to make the sale will all act the part. It is all smiles and flattery. No weaknesses or farts and ample good natured banter devoid of swear words. Once they get what they want, the motivation to play the thespian is lost.
In the above mentioned song the pretty lady dizzy with love seems to be asking a more mature head how she would know if the suitor is really the ‘chosen one’ or just another trophy hunter looking to boost his cabinet.
The paranoid people have an easier ride for they know all men and women are low life cheats, liars and murderers. They trust no one and keep to themselves. The only problem is with them is that they have not considered the Pareto principle; twenty per cent of your human interactions will produce one hundred per cent of your beneficial outcomes. By opting for a risk free zero per cent interaction with anyone they reap zero benefits from people and all the good things in life come through people. There is always going to be chaff where there is wheat. Unfortunately today’s chaff now have the internet and have learnt to study and sound like wheat.
Someone once advised me to watch how people treat me to gauge if they are wolves that shop at the Sheep discount store. The problem with that advice is that by the time you realise that you are dancing with wild animals (like the title of Kelvin Costner’s movie), they would have eaten deep into your leg. I also heard someone say ‘watch how they treat their parents. If they treat them badly, you are next in line’. That is a good screening method, but what if their parents are dead or in another time zone?
There is another way though. It is finding out how they treat the most important of all people; themselves. I remember my childhood in Lagos and how the touts posed and gestured for long minutes before a fight. This was long before the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment Inc) made such behaviour ‘Hollywood’. Fela sang about this pre fight ritual eloquently in his song Shakara.
The two men who have decided to fight ask each other if they are each aware of their fierce reputations as knock out specialists. A group gathers like vultures to the carcass as in the days before mobile phones any noise drew attention in the streets. Just like in today’s WWE or rap battles, oratorical skills are displayed to hype up the crowd and people stand to watch saying to each other ‘I cannot miss this fight’. If this happens at a bus stop, students miss their buses. In the end the trade in punches proves an anti-climax. As things progressed however the pre-fight ritual became more exciting. One avant garde thug smashed two bottles on his head and stabbed his chest and arm drawing blood. His opponent and audience fled. The point was clear for all to see and it is that if a man does something so brutal to himself, who are you?
So my contribution to the world’s knowledge base on judging and assessing people you have just met is this; look how they treat themselves.
The Brain.
This is one of the most important organs possessed by humans. Although hidden in a fortress it can be reached easily through the ears or via the blood stream. This delicate organ that controls thinking, reasoning and movements requires food and stimulation by way of music and information. Information can be obtained through formal means such as books and lectures to informal means such as learning through observation and reasoning.
If someone you meet reads nothing and takes drugs that damage their brains, though they might be charming and the life of the party today, in ten years’ time you might be stuck with a brain that is working below capacity. This could come in the form of a business partner not pulling their weight or a spouse who diverts the family income to the liquor store.
Time
This valuable resource that is equally distributed among humans is either spent carelessly or invested prudently. Killing time brings no returns. Any association with an individual who values not his time means that when he is done with wrecking his prospects he will diversify his portfolio by wasting your own time as well. Run away if someone who promises you both heaven and earth has money and time to burn. Osibisa warned thus; ‘Fire will burn you’.
Body
One who eats junk will offer you what he has in the fridge when you visit. Same goes for the unsafe sex merchant. If he does not care what diseases he catches, he will have no problems with sharing what he has caught for he care no a bit about what you might catch.
High risk life styles
A drug dealer might promise love and commitment and really believe what he says but he might not be alive in the long run to make true his promises. Statistics war against his good intentions and he would either get shot or be imprisoned and not be able to realise his potential as an associate to anyone.
So next time you meet someone new, don’t wait for him or her to treat you right. Just take them to a bar, offer to pay while you watch how they treat themselves.
