First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re beautiful
Makin’ love with you is all I wanna do
Lovin’ you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that I do is out of lovin’ you
- Minnie Ripperton
The above sensual love song best describes my love for Nigeria. The second line might provoke strange looks but making eba or pounded yam and eating it with egusi is the same as making love with Naija – a pleasurable interaction between the fruit of mother earth’s cassava or yams and the willing Nigerian tongue.
I love Nigeria but she has a bad reputation on social media and seems to have affairs every month. Expressing my love has now become embarrassing as my fellow countrymen wake up daily with new adjectives to verbally malign the country. My love affair started from home. Nigeria’s High Commissioners in my family were mum and dad and they represented her well. Nigerian parents providing for a child speaks very well of the country.
Ukodo every Sunday morning sealed the love. Hot yam in a broth of pepper soup with fresh fish lurking around the soup bowl like a United Nation’s peace keeping force. Seemingly idle till called upon to pay the supreme sacrifice; getting crushed between my molars.
Fried plantain (dodo) and beans on Saturdays was a constant. Washed down with cold water long before the change of name to ‘pure water’ (not to be confused with impure water I suppose).
Food is a drug which is highly addictive. Even with a residential rehabilitation programme, a Naija man cannot be weaned off his staples; ogbono, show boy, owo, and Jollof rice. Party jollof rice with moin-moin unwrapped from leaves just before eating. It is impossible for the Yoruba to turn their backs on amala. For where? No matter what is happening in the economy or with national security, fufu must glide down the throat. That is abiding addictive love and loyalty.
Now in all relationships there will be tests and Nigeria permanently tests the love of its citizens. The Naija maidens who dance with rotating waists that harbour jigida and many other wonderful things are never hated. That like the food is non-negotiable. The people are mainly tested by the leaders who grab social media.
With a population of 170 Million citizens one would expect a wide range of news grabbers coming out of Nigeria but the image has been on lock down. Lawmakers unfortunately are the most talked about Nigerians. Not teachers, doctors or ordinary civil servants. Over the last few months, it has been one negative thing after the other in between mouthfuls of suya (beef barbecue) and small Stout. Dasuki grabbed the headlines followed by the President’s illness and diagnosis. This was followed by Dino’s certificate, Efe – Big Brother Nigeria, whistle blowing and Dollars in a flat in Osborne Towers. Facts as usual were blurred for like Fela said…e get Unknown Soldier.
Quest of CNN found out that Senegalese jollof was the best from a government minister but before the country could erupt in shock Anthony Joshua became boxing heavyweight champion.
We were saddened to hear that schoolgirls were being molested in broad daylight on the last day of school. Such impunity! I wonder where they learnt that they could attempt rape and ‘nothing would happen’. Recently all roads led to Niger State as the former president’s daughter got married. Rather than wishing the couple a happy married life, social media was on fire with Nigerians complaining about the guests at the wedding.
I guess it is love. No one would see his or her lover living far below their potential and not feel hurt. Frustrated people sometimes will vent and in today’s world that means turning to Facebook or WhatsApp.
Who knows what tomorrow’s ‘viral’ news would be? A death, stolen money, an unbecoming utterance by a lawmaker, an impeachment or even more terrorism? Whatever happens we all would be making love to Nigeria on our dinner tables for that is what we lovers do.
I also love the Nigerian expressions in Pidgin English. So much so that I wrote the first online Nigerian Pidgin English dictionary (so dis love no bi mouth). I love the music and the way we express comedy in the arts. I study this permanently noting how other Nigerians express themselves. Language is like Nigerian food; a constant expression of love for Nigeria. With increasing frequency Nigerians play Nigerian music with Pidgin English.
There are places of outstanding beauty doted all over Nigeria – the rivers, lakes and the hills. From the beaches in Lagos to the wildlife in Yankari Games Reserve, there are sights to behold. What’s not to love about Nigeria? To hate her is to hate my very genes.
