First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
Email: babawill2000@gmail.com Twitter: @Babawilly
Buying and selling aids the planetary revolutions we enjoy. Living is all about exchanging items, services or concepts of value. I had never considered this scenario could relate to romantic relationships until a mutual friend told me of the reluctance of a certain husband to do something for his wife and she became upset at his lack of enthusiasm and angrily told him that he did a lot more when he was wooing her to which he replied, “that time I dey do marketing, you don become customer now”.
Marketing
This is what a young man does for his brand as he sprouts up in the forest of the living. He communicates the value of his brand with an assault on all the senses. Strong after shave, brightly coloured clothes and even more colourful language. Exaggeration is the currency of the wannabes.
The target audience must be understood and he has done his homework. When you are the product, it is you job to tailor your virtues to the aspirations of your potential consumers. The young man knows that his consumer wants a prince for a mate. For what better way to appear attractive to the ladies than to either be a prince or imitate one meticulously? The ladies are on the lookout for the prince for he can guarantee the fulfilment of their basic heart desires. It is common knowledge that wealth, shelter, fine raiment and exquisite ornaments come with the territory. The avoidance of hunger, adversity, injury and boredom can be best achieved hanging around the prince. Long term prosperity is also secured for the prince is heir to land and harvest, to goodwill and treasures
Now the commercial banks are different. They too long for long term relationships but give no room for sentimentality and would always ask for six month’s bank statements from all their suitors. The same applies to the visa offices and embassies. These institutions have long since found out that the heart makes poor business decisions. But not so in the arena of wooing a lady. Guys imitate princes on borrowed cash and credit cards and secure long term relationship contracts without being asked to show any documentary proof of income. But such is life. Reality and common sense? Too dry! Fantasy is sweeter.
All marketers fear their competition. Marketing really gets innovative as product producers get desperate. Think Apple and Samsung. Coke and Pepsi. Cat and Mouse. Tension breeds excitement. And there is no more heady feeling for a consumer than having various brands bend over backwards to get your custom. Some potential suitors even consult friends for advice on how to woo a lady. Friends form a master mind group for ‘operation babe’ lend their man money for fuel, clothes and cars, acting like a football team chasing the FA cup. The chase is exciting and it gets the whole team hyped. The pretend Prince’s ego now sets in. He must not fail. So he gives it his all. Whatever music needs to be listened to, he tolerates. He starts watching films he cannot stand and eating food that resists his stomach’s digestive enzymes. Appears to be witty when he has a toothache and keeps in all his farts to appear poised. Being ill is not an option as there is competition. He intensifies his market research and gives the consumer what she likes. He tries hard to create what takes Hollywood a team of 50 to create; a feel good factor. Non-jokes, smiles, self-control and lavishness. The old “there is more where that came from” routine. Unfortunately, there usually isn’t more. They say it takes three months to develop a habit, so when a lady has finally settled on a guy, and started going out steady, he has become her habit. She is now used to him but used to seeing him in chasing mode aka marketing mode. Almost like getting used to a politician on a campaign trail and thinking life will always be smiling and flag waving. (Campaigns cost money and money has to be paid back).
So when a guy who is not a prince has over stretched himself for a year in his acting prince role, he dreams of a well-earned rest. That rest is called marriage in some quarters.
Customer services
Here lies the shock. After the honeymoon, no one is interested in celebrating the new wife anymore and the novelty dies off, meaning it is time for another couple to shine. The mastermind team which helped to woo the lady by providing intelligence and strategic support to the erstwhile prince is disbanded and all the princess is left with is customer services; in other words, how her man’s papa treated her mother-in-law.
The guy steps out of character at least at home displaying his real colours. He is free to put down all the acting tools and sit all day in front of the telly with legs far apart, feeling to make sure he has not sprouted a third testicle. The problem is he thought his beloved was acting as well when she pranced about like a princess. For him the final curtain has been drain on the final act but the princess, is just getting ready to become a queen of the palace rather than assuming the role of a long suffering hand maiden.
With time she would see the wisdom in awarding him an Oscar in his role as a leading man i.e. leading her on.
But to be fair, who can blame a lady who had 14 guys remembering her last birthday for thinking it will always be like that. Flattery is deceptive, sweet, intoxicating and delusional.
My advice, enjoy the sweet flattery of courtship with a pinch of salt for it is a figment of his imagination, just an illusion or simply put, plain old marketing.
