First Gentleman with Wilson Orhiunu
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Many things attempt to get our attention but none has perfected the art like the full bladder. That is one call you just cannot ignore. No book is too captivating and no movie too interesting to make you put this call of nature on answer phone. Chuck Brown and the Soul Searchers in 1979 spoke for all who have felt the pain before with their hit tune ‘I Feel Like Bursting Loose’. Unfortunately, reading books and exercising do not conjure up such strong feelings that can instantly put one on the path to action.
Perhaps the intense urge is there to protect humans who are all the Kings and Queens of procrastination. If a full bladder did not give a clear and painful message, people will defer on the trip to the loo for months on end till their bladders became a cesspit. The vital activities essential for life are not easy to procrastinate. How does one procrastinate when impulses tell you that your rectum is full of liquid nastiness? One’s mission in life at such pressing times is to find a loo to export the products out. There is no focus as sharp as a diarrhoea sufferer looking for a vacant loo. That is a masterclass in human focus. The dread of spoiling ones clothes makes every last nerve stand on edge and the brain’s activity escalates.
No one procrastinates on breathing, having the heart beating or the gut digesting a meal because you could not even procrastinate if you wanted to. The strong feelings and automatic bodily functions march on regardless.
The rest of needful activities under the heavens which are purely in the will of humans are postponed at will. Tomorrow never comes captures the sentiment at play. I wish that I had very strong desires to read a new book every week and exercise daily. I also wish I had very strong desires to be a billionaire from infancy. These desires never came with their full power. I sort of had a battery operated desire which waxed and waned.
We usually achieve the one or two things we have really strong feelings for. The only problem is that when we have the choice to have a break, we do. That is the exact reason why those who grew up in homes seeing something done consistently always grow up to do the same things. They have been deceived (or taught) into thinking that there is no other option for them in life, for that is all they know. These are the kids who grow up and chat with people from other backgrounds only to be astonished that not every family sits in the living room reading books in silence while Mozart plays at a low volume. “I thought everyone’s up bringing was like mine,” they say.
These are the types who get withdrawal reactions if they have not read a book in three days. They still have the strong physiological desires to visit the loo but they turn up with a book rather than a smart phone.
Another bodily activity out of the control of men is spermatogenesis. This is the fancy word for the manufacturing of sperm cells by the testicles. Even the laziest of procrastinators who is unable to produce anything constructive in life will produce sperm cells in millions. The population of the world is too important a task to leave to men, so the production of ‘seeds’ goes on automatically. Sexual desires on planet Earth speaks for itself; the world’s copulation rates and population is on the rise.
Sadly the bit that is not an automatic desire is the provision and nurturing of the children produced. There is not an adult who does not know the important things to do. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak has become the popular get out clause. Yet I have never seen a woman in labour whose flesh was weak. One contraction is enough to rearrange any itinerary. Seems the flesh is weak when it has an opportunity to be so. Might explain why cruel and tyrannical leaders get a lot of things done by the people they oppress.
One way to work up a strong feeling for something is to associate with people who are hyped up about that same thing. Spend time in their company, read their magazines and meet their friends. Avoid those who are against that activity and never read or listen to opposing views. This helps to develop the one tracked mind needed to make ambers of desires flourish into a full scale bush fire of desire and soon action comes trailing behind.
To conclude, it might be a good idea to make a list of the five most important things that we know we should be doing and try to desire them as keenly as a full bladder desires the loo.
If watching Championship League football or twerking videos are on your list, you have not understood what I have been trying to say.
