Award-winning singer Temilade Openiyi, popularly known as Tems, has stirred conversations on social media with a thought-provoking tweet about breadcrumbing, a term used to describe toxic relationship dynamics.
On Thursday, the Grammy-winning artist took to X (formerly Twitter) to reflect on how people often settle for less than they deserve while giving so much to others.
She likened this pattern to “breadcrumbing,” where one partner gives just enough attention to keep the other engaged but never enough to truly satisfy them.
“They breadcrumb you because they live on breadcrumbs, they have nothing more to give,” she wrote.
“You are the giver, you have bread. And because you’re used to having bread, you expect to receive bread from them too. The breadcrumbs create a hunger that is never satiated.
“Cuz you’re used to more. All the while they’ve been eating off your bread. Now you’re even more empty than before, hoping for something tangible.”
Tems further described how people can unknowingly become accustomed to receiving less than they deserve, adding, “You’ve become addicted to breadcrumbs. Now they don’t even need to deceive you anymore. You give it freely. You’ve taken on the new identity of breadcrumb lover.”
In another post, she wrote, “This is for the girls that get it, if not scroll!!”
The tweet quickly went viral, drawing reactions from fans and social media users, with many speculating that she was referencing a past relationship.
One user, identified as Truthist, expanded on the metaphor, writing, “When the Breadcrumb Lover who was unfortunately groomed into loving crumbs has gone to various bread-givers hoping for full bread but getting none, the Breadcrumb Lover eventually decides to not take crumbs anymore.
“The only problem is that no one thinks the Breadcrumb Lover is worthy of any full bread, so the Breadcrumb Lover is stuck between taking crumbs, eating spoilt bread that has mould on it, or not eating any bread at all.”
Another user, Chi Dhebs, added, “This being said, and this is not me making excuses for the bread crumbs giver. But, what if the bread crumbs giver only knows how to give out crumbs because that was a pattern from early childhood? It’s probably because there was an emotionally absent parent. My opinion.”
Adugbo Victory commented, “This is such a powerful metaphor! You’re using ‘breadcrumbs’ like in Hansel and Gretel, where the crumbs lead nowhere, to describe how some people string others along with just enough attention to keep them hooked but never enough to build a real connection. It’s like they’re feeding off your emotional ‘bread’ while leaving you hungry for more. So relatable in today’s dating world, especially with how social media can amplify this behavior.”
Tems, who has largely kept her personal life private, has often been the subject of speculation.
In a recent interview, she revealed that she has never been in a committed relationship but has what she describes as a “mini boyfriend,” suggesting a casual companionship without serious commitment.
She has also dismissed rumors about her personal life, including speculation that she was pregnant with American rapper Future’s child, clarifying that such claims are untrue.
