Close-up with KC Ejelonu
Email: kcejelonu@gmail.com Twitter: @kcejelonu
“With realisation of one’s own potential and self confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” ~Dalai Lama
Lori Deschene’s take on living the life of your dream… There’s a lot that goes into overcoming those fears. You may need to challenge limiting beliefs formed years ago, or take yourself out of a situation where other people undermine your abilities. One thing that will definitely help is working on your confidence.
1. Tap into the confidence you were born with
I feel it’s something that is always there, something you’re born with that gets lost along the way, or stolen by others. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find it again. ~Amy Lee Tempest
You didn’t come out of the womb unsure of your cry or insecure about your large umbilical cord. You came out blissfully unaware of external judgment, concerned only with your own experience and needs. I’m not suggesting that you should be oblivious to other people. It’s just that it may help to remember confidence was your original nature before time started chiselling away at it.
Once you developed a sense of self-awareness, you started forming doubts and insecurities about how other people saw you. You learned to crave praise and avoid criticism, and maybe you started getting down on yourself if you got more of the latter than the former.
When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.
2. Know your strengths and weaknesses
As you learn who you are, you gain confidence in your strengths and also learn your weaknesses. ~Angela Birt
Learning who you are doesn’t happen overnight. A good start is to identify your strengths and weaknesses and then weigh those against what you enjoy. It might help to list five things you do well that you enjoy and five things you’d like to do well. Make an effort to utilize some of the first list and work on some of the second every day. As you use your strengths and improve where there’s room to grow, you’ll develop both confidence and fulfilment simultaneously.
3. Expect success
Confidence comes from success…But confidence also combines another quality because you can be successful, yet lack confidence. It requires a mental attitude shift to an expectation of success. And this alone, can bring about more success, reinforcing the confidence. It spirals from there. ~Jason Hihn
Conventional wisdom suggests it’s smart to expect the worst because you won’t be disappointed if you fail and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you succeed.
4. Trust your capabilities
Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up. ~Donn King
No one in the world knows everything. Everyone is good at some things and not so good at others. Don’t weigh your security against what you know or can do; weigh it against your willingness and capacity to learn.
If someone criticizes you, take it is an opportunity to improve. If someone does better than you, see it as an opportunity to learn from him or her. If you fall short at something, realize you can get closer next time.
5. Embrace the unknown
Confidence comes from a space of humility. It is spawned when we dare to see the world through an alternate lens. It grows when we have the courage to embrace the experience of the unknown and the unknowable. ~Hana Lee
People often think confidence means knowing you can create the outcome you desire. To some extent it does, but this idea isn’t universally true for anyone. No matter how talented, smart, or capable you are, you cannot predict or control everything that happens in your life.
Confidence comes from knowing your competence but acknowledging it’s not solely responsible for creating your world.
6. Take risks
Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes afterwards. ~Christopher Kaminski
If you always do things as you’ve always done them of course you won’t feel confident.
7. Learn to receive praise
Confidence is earned through positive recognition and reinforcement. ~Don La Franchi
It’s amazing how easy it is to believe all the negative things people say and yet discredit the positive. Taking a compliment is an art. Sometimes, it’s instinctive to assume they’re just being nice or that maybe you aren’t really skilled—you just got lucky.
Occasionally, this may be true, but for the most part you earn the praise you receive. Don’t talk yourself out of believing it. Instead, recycle it into confidence. You did a fantastic job on your project at work; that means you can do it again.
8. Practice confidence
It can be practiced—and with that practice you will get better. ~Jacqueline Wolven
Like anything else in life, your confidence will improve with practice. A great opportunity to do this is when you meet new people. Just like if you were the new kid in school, they have no idea who you are—meaning you have an opportunity to show them.
People are more apt to see you how you want to be seen if they suspect you see yourself that way.
