Casual Musing with Chioma Emezi
Email: chyemezi
Cheryl met Chris at the wedding of a mutual friend in Lagos. Chris had taken a two-week vacation and flown all the way from Canada to attend the wedding because he was the best man. Cheryl on the other hand was the chief maid of honour. They hit it off immediately at the wedding.
After hanging out a few times, Chris asked Cheryl out and they started dating. Before the end of his vacation, he introduced her to his parents and siblings as his girlfriend and Cheryl was well received.
On the day he was to return to Canada, Cheryl accompanied him to the airport and right in the departure hall, in the full glare of the public and his parents, he went on his knee and proposed to her. The hall was filled with sounds of ‘awww’ and ‘ohhh’ from onlookers. Filled with excitement and joy, Cheryl accepted his proposal, engagement ring and became his fiancée.
They maintained communication via Skype, FaceTime and all available means of communication for over a year and started planning their wedding and eventually fixed a date. All this while, Chris told Cheryl that he had filed her immigration papers and she would be joining him in Canada immediately after their wedding.
When the time came, they had a lovely wedding, which could best be described as “talk of the town”, in Enugu where Cheryl’s parents lived.
As agreed, Cheryl was expecting to return to Canada with her husband but he told her that her papers were still being processed and he would have to return without her. He assured her that he would do his best to speed up the process so that they could be together as man and wife. Before he returned, Chris told Cheryl to move out of her apartment where she lived as a single lady and move in with his parents since she was now their daughter-in-law. He said he would be more comfortable and relaxed knowing that she was not alone and had his parents were watching over her. Without further ado, Cheryl did as she was told and moved in with her parents-in-law even though it was much further from her place of work.
Chris returned to Canada and everything was hunky dory between them for a while. Cheryl also had a great relationship with her in-laws and settled down nicely with them. Since they were retired, she took it upon herself to run the home because she had a good job. She made sure they lacked nothing and all bills were paid.
A year passed and she realised that the communication with her husband had reduced. Her calls always ended up in his voicemail and he would return the calls after a day or two with apologies about work pressure and keep his responses curt. He was hardly ever available on Skype or FaceTime. Cheryl complained to her mother-in-law who in turn assured her that all was well and she should be patient.
This continued into the second year and by the middle of the third year, she stopped hearing from her husband altogether. The few times she did were when he called his parents and they insisted on handing over the phone to her. Even at that, he would sound so dismissive.
Cheryl got so confused and worried. Her in-laws kept telling her to be patient but could not address her concerns. By this time, she had spent four years in their home with no form of communication with her husband. Age was no longer on her side and she knew she could no longer fold her hands and wait. At the same time, she was wondering where she had gone wrong.
So she approached her in-laws and told them that she could no longer continue with the marriage. She told them that she wanted to move out of their home and move on with her life since it was obvious that Chris had taken her on a wild goose chase and put her life on hold for four whole years. Her in-laws continued appealing to her to be a patient because they have summoned their son and he would be in Nigeria soon. Her brother-in-law overheard their conversation and walked in.
He started asking his parents why they were so wicked and could not put Cheryl out of her four-year misery. He proceeded to inform her that Chris met someone else in Canada and already has a child with the lady. His parents on their own side were hoping he would change his mind and send for his wife. They did not know how to break the news to her and wanted him to be the one to do so.
Cheryl was stupefied. She kept hitting her head to assure herself that she was not dreaming and then she passed out. When she regained consciousness, she was in her room and her mother-in-law was sitting beside her on the bed using a cold towel to wipe her forehead. Then it dawned on her that she had been taken for a ride. She simply got up and started packing her stuff. She put a call through to her former landlord and luckily for her, her former apartment had been vacated recently. So she moved out.
The following month, news got to her that her husband Chris had returned with his child and mistress. She thought of what to do and decided to confront him. She went to the house and as the door opened, she stood face to face with Chris. Immediately he saw her, he went on his knees to ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness? Where would she start? How does one begin to forgive four years of deceit and abandonment? “It shall never be well with you,” were the only words she could find to say to him. With that she turned and went home.
Today, she is still picking the pieces of her broken heart.
Ladies, as we say in Nigeria: “Please shine your eyes”. Watch that long distance marriage. Use your tongue to count your teeth. Once that dashing young man who lives abroad comes to ask for your hand in marriage, make sure arrangements are in place for you to join him soon as you get married to avoid “stories that touch”.
A word is enough for the wise.
