Actor Daniel Etim-Effiong has sparked a conversation about culture and gender roles in marriage during a candid exchange with his wife, Toyosi Etim-Effiong, on the latest episode of their podcast, Transparent Talk.
In the episode shared on their YouTube channel, Daniel humourously brought up a moment from their traditional wedding, where Toyosi knelt to serve him cake.
He playfully asked why she hadn’t continued the practice since their wedding day.
“Why can’t you kneel and serve me?” he asked.
“You know, when we had our traditional wedding, you knelt to give me the cake. So why haven’t you ever done that since after our marriage?”
Toyosi pointed out that her husband had also abandoned a cultural gesture of his own. “You’ve never knelt for me either since you proposed,” she said.
Defending his stance, he replied, “I haven’t done that since proposing because traditionally the man shouldn’t be kneeling. I’m your lord, and you fail to recognise that I’m your husbandman.”
The actor then pivoted to a broader question, “What role does culture play in a relationship? How positive is culture in a relationship?”
She responded with a dose of reality, noting that kneeling isn’t even part of his cultural background.
“It’s funny for us because women don’t kneel in your culture, the Efik culture. So, it’s not like it’s something you grew up seeing and longing for your wife to do,” she said.
He admitted that much of his understanding of kneeling and bowing comes from living in Lagos and marrying a Yoruba woman.
“I’ve lived in Lagos all my life and I understand Yoruba culture. I even find myself bowing to greet the elderly. Efik men don’t do that; we stand upright and say ‘hello sir’. I started doing that because of where I am and because I married you, a Yoruba woman. I don’t mind doing it. I love respecting the elders,” he explained.
Toyosi agreed on the importance of showing respect to elders, saying, “I’d kneel for the elders, to greet and respect them, of course.”
He then teased, “You’d kneel for the elders, so why can’t you kneel for me?”
